Have you guessed the word yet?
If not, here it is: “no.”
In his esteemed military text, Lorenz on Leadership, Major General Stephen R Lorenz claims to have a contrarian view: “Saying no finishes the situation; saying yes, however, carries with it additional tasks, commitments, and responsibilities.”
If “no,” is uttered, the task is done. But we want to please others, so we often revert to “yes” instead. Yes is obligatory: it’s a promise to do what may not even be a big deal to the other party in the first place. It’s still an additional task among the slew of work that already needs to be done. It’s no wonder why the modern businessman is so busy. So many commitments, so many responsibilities….
Obviously, I just framed a rather pessimistic view of the word “no.” But it might not be all that bad to agree to requests frequently.
Because, as Lorenz later continues, “if a leader responds affirmatively 95 percent of the time, his or her people will readily accept the fact that the leader has carefully considered their request before responding negatively.” By establishing a pattern of agreeing to help out, no matter how trivial, a precedent is set. Acting on the contrary by saying no will therefore paint an image of sincerity. Whereas on the other hand, frequently saying no may portray you as selfish and unlikable.
The key, as with anything, is to strike a proper balance.
Of course, there are still arguments to be made on both sides. Affirming everything also may position you as a tool for others. Those seeking to exploit may deliberately come to you when they could approach others or even do it themselves if they know you will say yes. Some people will genuinely be thankful for your time and effort, but others will not. It all depends the existing culture and environment, as well as your general attitude in dealing with people.
On the other hand, saying no common makes you unapproachable, perhaps even degrading existing relationships. The guy in the cubicle next door may enjoy many fruitful friendships and have a vast network to help him out down the road due to his willingness to help out others. The old adage, treat others how you want to treated, is especially applicable then in this scenario. People tend to reciprocate in favor, so saying “yes” frequently should prove to be mutually beneficial.
It won’t help to say “no” to everything, and just sit at your desk watching Game of Thrones instead. It also certainly won’t help to promise everything and under-deliver. It would have been better then if you had said no in the first place, rendering all that effort wasted and unappreciated.
Again, a balance must be maintained.
That’s not to say you should say “yes” 50 percent of the time and “no” to the other half of the time.
The consequences and effects of responses must be considered. The perfect medium is different for every person; this is where self-awareness is critical. Your response should be contingent upon your productivity, schedule, and character. Some people are just generally more receptive to help out than others are.
If indecision hits, flip a coin. Going either direction will not make or break you as an individual. But indecision is always the worst decision to make.
Who knows? If you say “yes,” you may learn something new in the process. If you say “no,” you may learn something new about yourself.
Just remember: balance.
